Candy Baby

Alexander and I have invented a new game. It's called “Kiss the Baby!” Basically, I look him in the face and say “Kiss the Baby!” and then I kiss him. Then he smiles, laughs, or says “gooooo.” Once he does that, I say “Kiss the Baby!” again and kiss him again. This goes on and on until it's time for the lightening round (“I am SO GOOD at lightening rounds!” quick, what's that from?), where I pepper his whole head with kisses and he laughs and laughs and laughs.

We'd just finished playing when Monstro came home last night. Alexander was panting from the exertion of our game. “He looks so happy!” Monstro said, reaching for him.

“Give him a minute,” I suggested.

“To come down from his happy high?” Monstro asked. I laughed.

Katie saw us on Saturday night and sent me an e-mail about how I'm a different mother from what I was last month. It helps that Alexander has shifted into what Katie calls the “candy stage.” He's becoming so sweet I just want to eat him up. But I think DCF would have something to say about that (I've watched a lot of “Judging Amy” since his birth, and have learned about these things), so instead I just look at him hungrily and commence another session of “Kiss the Baby!”

Of course, this is just a placeholder game until baby is big enough to play “Go Get a Hug,” but heck, if you've got to pass some time, this is a great way to do so. Especially since “Lost” was a rerun this week, and the second season of “Project Runway” is over and done.

One thought on “Candy Baby

  1. Hey Motormouth-
    I'm sorry but this is one heck of a long blog for you to read. I hope you are up to it and Lex lets you get all the way through it. I have to say that it has been somewhat of a busy night of me commenting on hubby Monstro's weekly profundity and then Messr. Drivler's addition, plus my own blog —
    (so look forward to checking out all of same, hint hint 🙂
    — so I logged onto your blog and only saw the title of your latest post, i.e. “Candy Baby.” Now maybe it was the lateness of the hour, or maybe just my worry over the corned beef I had boiling on the stove that I had planned on cooking Friday, because like a good Jew I figure it is just a good reason as any to make up a corned beef for some really outstanding Ruebens doncha know, but then I went and left in the fridge until I talked with you earlier today, well yesterday but I hope you know what I mean, when you reminded me of when you were talking about your own exciting St. Paddy's day, so I had taken it out of the fridge to soak a little in water to loosen up the brine, and then left sitting there until around 10 P.M. when I finally remembered I had a hunk of lovely marbled artery filler setting in a bunch of water getting tough, so I realized I better get that sucker a boiling tonight if I want to have sandwiches tomorrow, well today now, but anyways right at the moment I read your title I thought I heard the pot boiling over on the stove.
    So I rush into the kitchen, and sure enough, it's boiling over and making a mess, so I have to clean it all up after turning the burner down, and then, because I have the water running I figure I better take a sec to wash those few dishes that seem to ever-accumulate, so as the suds are going and the hot water is flowing I start musing about your title “Candy Baby” and I guess the word “game” also somehow got caught in my vision, so I was thinking it was a game called “Candy Baby.” Like a boardgame. Like Candy Land. I hope that train of thought was clear.
    So I'm thinking you've come up with a giant board game called Candy Baby. And I, I hope naturally or I'll be ending up on Judge Judy, started envisioning this huge game board with colorful slides and poles that you go up and down on. And I couldn't figure where you could fit such a board, cause I done seen how large your abode is and I don't a board that large would fit. And then I thought, stupid, they can just put it in a gymnasium. So then I quickly decided you were probably using them big fuzzy dice that hang from rearview mirrors as actual dice, and the baby is naturally one of the game tokens.
    Now bear with me, by this point I was fully aware how silly a road I was going, but when you are washing your dishes at 1:30 in the morning after writing an Alexander's diaper-load of writing, and there are the heady fumes of a boiling corned beef billowing about your head as the suds grow higher, {do you get that reference?} crazy lines of thought are fun to play out. Plus I figgered I could come back and use the idea as a blog response to whatever you really did write. So I says to myself, I sez, “Self, lab begone! Test yourself!”
    So I pursue my illogicallicy. Say that five times fast. Better yet, teach it to Lex as his first word. Amaze the neighbors! Astound your frinds! They'll know he's yours and Monstro's for sure! Anyway, baby token. I figured the biggest problem with using a baby as a token is they are, well, a baby. I wasn't sure if Alexander was sitting up on his own yet, but I figure that was a reasonable possibility given his four months of age. Surely he could out “Rory Calhoun” the Simpson's puppies. I really hope you've seen that episode so I don't have to explain the reference to you, because neither of us need me telling you about a small bit from a Simpson's show. For one thing I guarantee I would have to sing the Burns song that comes moments after that bit. So if you don't know it, then I wish I had the ability to send you my entire DVD collection, AND THE TIME TO WATCH IT, for that would be the ultimate Avram gift.
    So we have to have at least a sittable uppable baby for the token to work. I mean just lying there would be no fun now would it? And then I thought, babys being babys, they ain't gonna sit perfectly still for an entire turn. This would naturally be a multi-baby game. Different colored snuggies, you know. Any normal baby is going to fall over — which is the best part of being a baby. They really don't let you just sit there for a moment and then go whooooooo over on your side. They tend to call the paramedics. But it is so fun to do. Apparently I did quite a lot of it when I was a baby. Nuff said.
    Plus babies move around and squirm and grab their own feet and all sorts of cute stuff. Some of them even crawl, or do a sort of floor swimming/treading carpet type of thing. Often with only one arm so they kind of spin. Its fun to do, and watch for hours.
    So all that came down to my thinking you would need some kind of non-toxic fixative to keep them in place. And then I thought “I wonder if Monstro had to invent some kind of special spackle?” Which is when I finally came back to the computer and actually read your blog.
    Actually thinking all that took a hell of a lot shorter time than it took me to type it, or for you to read it. But I am very heartened your game was actually much more happy and innocent than what I thought. Otherwise we'd all end up on Judge Judy.

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