To the members of the Mytown Playwrights' Lab: I am so sorry for telling Kris that you simply weren't brilliant enough to surmise my delirious new play, and I thank you for your comments, and muchas gracias to Monstro as well. Baby obliged today, so I took the extra naptime hour to synthesize your many but not, no, never “pigeon-dung stupid” questions about my new play, FIRST DATE, LAST DATE:
- they're both attractive but they have trouble dating: why? She's social to the point where she gets a cheering squad.
- Maybe he should realize that they're not meant for each other. Otherwise they're just small talking.
- why do they think [the first date] is going well? Clearly they're not good together, but there's never a point where he realizes it's not going to work.
JAY: Jay has always been the slow one with the affable personality. Didn’t graduate college. Scrawny as a kid, he now looks fewer than his 40 years, and takes a kind of surprised pride in that. He’s the middle child, eager to please yet underlyingly selfish and attention-hungry. His recent diagnosis and ongoing pharmacological treatment for depression, coupled with his father’s genetic, progressively damaging illness, has pushed Jay to pound the Internet for a girlfriend, or at least someone to make out with.
ELLE: Elle has recently suffered expulsion from her close-knit neighborhood, following her housemate’s addiction to heroin. She is pretty and bubbly but does not suffer fools, having for so long been one herself. She mellows into the first date and is not interested in any grand romance. Currently working toward her MFA at the local California State University, she is happy, but closed. She knows how to get people to like her, when it suits, but she is NOT social. She’s willing to date, on her terms: no intensity, no bullshit; Hence, Internet dating.
TOGETHER: Each belongs to a world the other can't enter and wouldn’t want to. From the start, they realize that it’s not going to work, but they’re both lonely and damaged, and recognize that in one another, so why not give it a shot?
So, now all I gotta do is make sure all that gets added via my typically witty and en·light·en·ing dialogue, and I'm done!