It speaks volumes about the GOP that I haven't been this depressed since Bill Clinton won his first presidential election.

Scott Brown will for now and always be “Senator Naked” on this blog.

If you voted for Brown, you voted against survivors of rape. This one says, “???????”

Those Massachusetts rural areas that Scott Brown carried to his GOP Senate-seat victory is where the people who DIDN'T go to college live. Thar she blows, America.

I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, one of my many on-target gifts received by Monstro this Christmas, and while I indeed read it to completion: not enough zombies. I was hoping for a big, Hamlet-like ending but didn't get it.

Ultimately, the zombie(s) arc pays off in additional reader satisfaction, because it and they deepen the existant charms/annoyances of the novel, depending on your side of the Jane-Austen fence. Zombies make the Bennetts' frittering worth something: I can't be with him because I'm a zombie-hunter Bride of Death.

Also, the spirit of the illustrations (yes! illustrations!) is willing but the talent is weak. Sorry dude.

Genius: I gave this to Monstro for Christmas and am the first to crack it. One-and-a-half authors in, plus all the preface material, and damned if it isn't positively titular. First I read about my boyfriend, and now I'm on to Master Shakespeare and Sir John Falstaff. Genius is arranged Kabbalahistically so there's quite a bit about that, too. I wonder if Harold Bloom (he's the author / compiler) has seen the movie “Pi: Faith in Chaos”?

Ulysses: Turns out, what you do after re-reading Infinite Jest is re-read Ulysses. But that's OK, because James Joyce and I have been boyfriend-girlfriend since grad school and good buddies since high school, and I would totally make out with him if he wanted to. It's cool. Joyce infuses his own super-dreaminess in Poldy (that's what I call him, too, Dr. Bloom!), which makes him the scene stealer / scenery chewer any time he's around. But, Poldy's such a pussy –alliteration + 5 letters each, ahem, plus, “Ulysses” has a double-s and four of the five letters of pussy, don't think that Mr. Master of Detail didn't think of that, so I'll use the word if I want to, though I don't typically utilize it in my writings, and don't consider myself a “dirty” blogger– that Leopold's wussiness truly renders him a cuckold. Plus, his lukewarm affiliation to Judaism –not via Talmud, doesn't attend synagogue, buys and eats a kidney in his first few scenes– is a turn-off. Also, it is hard to write about Joyce's work without double en-dashes.

Speaking of dirty writers, Monstro also gave me Russell Brand's memoir, My Booky Wook, in which Brand emits the talent and propensity to write pretty well about stuff you'd never otherwise want to read. It's pretty good, and particularly worth a look if you're interested in first-hand accounts of heroin addiction and hunky sex.

There, Fringes, now I've written about dreams and blogging in the past few days.

And yeah, I've been backloading. Meh.

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My 4-year-old is becoming increasingly smartmouthed with me. Today's example:

Me: …and you shouldn't do that because one, it's not good for the furniture, and two, you could hurt yourself.

Lex: (pause) What's three?

If you donate any amount to the charity “Partners in Health” through Carolyn's Web page for Haitian earthquake relief, she will send you some free home-made vegan cookies.

On January 13, people started to arrive at Port-au-Prince “outlying hospitals and clinics run by Partners in Health.”

Dr. Paul Farmer, who co-founded the organization, was chronicled in “Mountains beyond Mountains,” written by Tracy Kidder, who lives where I've been exiled to. Dr. Farmer is also the UN deputy special envoy to Haiti.

So, his organization's a pretty good one to send your money to, though I also recommend UMCOR, though they're not offering free cookies to anyone.

If you don't care about vegan cookies, you can donate to Partners in Health directly through their SSL-secured Web site.

Next time, instead of a white elephant gift exchange, I want to do a Hills Like White Elephants gift exchange.

But, it would probably have to be held at Planned Parenthood.

(inspirational cartoon here.)

My first dream: I was re-marrying Monstro, at a cut-rate resort, and my wedding dress didn't fit. After rushing around all over the property, I finally decided to wear a long skirt and top, because Monstro wasn't even wearing a tie, so why should I get all glammed up.

My second dream: I went to an audition but didn't have a monologue prepared. The audition was being held at a library so I was rushing around, looking for something I could perform. This dream is the acting equivalent of showing up unprepared for your final exam, in your underwear.

If you take a college course during inter-session, are you doing intercourse? Or am I just horny?