Back to School

KeMa, don't be jealous (but thanks for the shout-out). I am taking a class. It started tonight. It's online, so for a change of pace, I'm sitting at my computer. The class is called “Get Funny,” and it's offered through Greenfield Community College. I've wanted to take it for a while, but decided to wait until Babykins was waking up fewer than three times a night.

The first lesson was posted today — a historical overview of humor writing. Good stuff. I have already completed my first assignment, because it was quiet in the house and I'm a dork. We were tasked with reading either Aristophanes (my comedy hero), Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare's comedies, or the Norse or Icelandic Sagas. I read a bunch of Norse myths. You know what? They're funny! I wrote all about them with a spoiler warning on the class discussion board. You can read my little essay by clicking “more.” (Don't want to bore the looky-loos.)

Lesson One: Norse Myths (spoilers) by Motormouth

I decided to read some Norse myths, because I knew nothing about them and the reference to Thor cross-dressing as a bride made me laugh. I found a bunch of them online at TimelessMyths.com.

In these myths, originally written in the early 1200s, Loki, the trickster, is constantly causing trouble, but has the foresight to 1) be smart, and 2) be friends with the mighty Thor and Odin, who usually save his bacon. But in many of the myths, the giants are pretty tricky themselves.

In one tale, a giant named Skrymir disguises himself and makes Thor, Loki, and their buddies compete in different challenges: a drinking contest, an eating contest, a foot race, a strength test, and a wrestling match. Kind of reminded me of: Beerfest, Stand By Me (the blueberry-pie-eating contest), Will Ferrell streaking in Old School, Jim Carrey against God in Bruce Almighty, and Jack Black as Nacho Libre.

Anyway, Thor and his buddies lose, but it turns out that Skrymir hadn't just disguised himself, he'd disguised the contests — for example, in the drinking contest, Thor wasn't drinking ale, but the sea!

Another giant, Hrungnir, was challenged by Thor to a battle. The other giants were pretty sure that Hrungnir would lose, because of this unbeatable weapon Thor had gotten from the dwarves (thanks to Loki, after Loki cut off all of Thor's wife's hair… it's a long story). So the giants created a giant made of clay. This doesn't work out as they planned; instead of striking fear in to Thor, when the clay-giant sees Thor, it wets itself from fright. Funny!

Thor wins the battle but ends up with a whetstone in his head, and proves his own stupidity by distracting the goddess in the middle of her healing spell, so the whetstone stayed in his head. What a dummy.

Loki proves his worth in the cross-dressing Thor/Bride story — when the giant inquires about why “the bride” is eating so much, it's Loki who provides the “she was fasting!” answer. And then when the giant asks why his bride's eyes are red, Loki responds, “She's been so excited for the marriage, she hasn't slept in eight nights.”

(Another funny item in the “bride” story is that Thrym, the Giant/antagonist, is the leader of the frost-giants. the woman he wants to marry is Freyja, the sluttiest of all the goddesses, who is nevertheless outraged at the idea of bedding down with him. There's probably a joke about frigidity in there but I'm not going to dig for it yet.)

Is Loki too smart for his own good? Maybe. But he's a thousand times smarter than Thor-the-dummy, and this proves helpful to Thor. Plus, he's great for comic relief; in another myth, they need to make a frost-giantess laugh, so they tie the beard of a nanny-goat to Loki's testicles. When one or the other would pull, “both would squeal.” This made the giantess laugh for the first time in her life, saving the day.

Finally, Loki gets captured by *another* frost-giant (apparently the authors needed to make it apparent that Norway is a frosty place to live), Geirrod, who makes Loki persuade Thor to come visit. Thor agrees, but goes without his unbeatable sword, his iron gauntlets, or the Mjollnir, his girdle of might. A friendly giantess they meet along the way tells Thor he's walking into certain death, so she gives Thor her unbreakable magic staff, her iron gloves, and her own girdle of might, which makes me think of the modern-day mantra, “if I wear this girdle, I might get lucky.”

And yes, Thor *does* get lucky while wearing the girdle: he not only kills Geirrod, but G's two daughters, too.

All in all, there is plenty of humor in the Norse myths, and a lot of the humor seems entirely too familiar, considering the myths are more than 800 years old.

Training log 6/17: PR

What does PR stand for? Well, in this context, it stands for Personal Record. Maybe I should call it “PFR” so nobody gets confused by the fact that PR could also be Public Relations, which I also accomplish on a regular basis.

OK, anyway, about my P*F*R: Today I went to the track at another local college. Before I got there I was musing to myself that maybe I should try running five laps, all in a row, without stopping or walking. Prior to this, my record was four laps, aka one mile. And that was a few weeks ago, I think before my mom had her surgery.

So I got to the track, did my stretches, and started running and did not stop until a mile-and-a-quarter later.

Five laps! Let's see that in all caps: FIVE LAPS!!! That's more than one-twentysixth of a marathon, people. Another woman on the track cheered for me when I finished, and told me it was more than she could do.

(I was also inspired by Kris, who told me this morning that she's following my training log with great interest; I didn't even know that she lurks here. Thanks, Kris, for the boost. And for laughing at my proposed first line, should I ever do an open-mic stand-up comedy session. “Gleaning,” indeed.)

It was fantastic. And I didn't even feel like I was going to die at the end of it — in the middle of it, yeah, but I pushed through and kept running. Which is really what it's all about. Well, that and shin pain. I came home, chased down a couple of ibuprofen with a concoction of protein powder in milk, and took a loooong shower.

training log, 6/14 & 6/16

On Sunday, Monstro and I took the boys to Hadley, to watch that town's parade commemorating its 350th birthday. I had the bright idea of parking on the other side of the river and walking over the Rail Trail to get to the parade. So we ended up walking somewhere between 2.6 and 2.9 miles that day, with the added bonus of the double stroller weighted down with 10 pounds of picnic supplies and 62 pounds of boys. Good times! And, the parade was loads of fun.

Today, I took Lex to school by way of the running track. “I want to go on that one,” he piped from the backseat. So I parked by the track, we ran 300 yards, then ran to the preschool, and then I ran back to the track and ran 800 and walked 400. Then, this afternoon, Monstro and Babykins and I walked a little over a mile before it was time to pick up Lex from preschool. Not a bad day! Oh, and Babykins now has not one but TWO teeth. Good times.

training log 6/13

After visiting my mom at the nursing home, I decided to shuck off my shoes and run barefoot up and down the grassy hill that's part of the facility's landscaping. I figured I'd run 10 figure-eights, up and down and up and down the hill, while Theo sat in his stroller laughing at me.

Well, that figure eight might as well have been an infinity symbol. I did it twice and chucked it in. That hill kicked my butt! Though it did feel good to run barefoot — I could feel my ankles strengthening during the run.

object lesson

So I re-activated my Facebook page this weekend, mostly so I could lock in the “motormouthdotcom” alias, and I agreed to “Friend” my best friend, who sent me a great message of Facebook do's-and-don'ts, and I asked two other people to be my friend and I think I'll hold steady with that. Updated my picture so it's chattering teeth, and then, right when I was getting ready to upload, you know, one or two other pics of the boys and whatnot, Facebook crashed my entire browser.

Eff you, Facebook.

training log 6/12

Been busy and rainy so I fell off the exercise wagon, but yesterday I was back “on track,” as it were…

ran 800 (with two 100-yard walking breaks)

walked 400

ran 800 (no stopping!)

walked 400

It was rough — I've lost some of my breath the past week — but ultimately, I felt a lot better!

pretty good weekend

My knee's been hurting — possibly sympathy pains, as it's the same side as the knee my mom just had replaced — so no new entries in the training log, but I'm about to get back on that horse. Today is the farmer's market where we pick up our farmshare — can't wait to see what kinds of veggies we'll be noshing this week! Other than that, mostly work, kid-caregiving, and Mom-caregiving. Happy Tuesday!