Monstro's got fewer than 10 items left to read/view for his comps. I'm balancing out all his scholastic reading by reading, well, in my family we like to call it beach trash. Two of the books I just bought were of this ilk.

The first, Butterfly, I read while I was in college. I remembered it fondly, so I chose it as my “free” option (buy two, get one free at Cherry Picked Books). Read it over one evening and the next morning. Just as trashy as I remembered, and trés 80s — the main bad guy is a hypocritical televangelist. Oh, and there's a fantasy bordello that caters to straight women. Good stuff.

The second, Elegance, was not so much beach trash as chick-lit, a genre I haven't plumbed because most of the books in its ilk are so gawd-awful. This one started with an interesting premise — unfulfilled newlywed adopts a secondhand tome on elegance as her Bible — and I bought it because the secondhand book in the book I bought (confusing, sorry) actually exists in real life. But halfway through the book, with no warning, the main character casts Elegance aside for no reason. The story unraveled at that point (ok, maybe a little before that point), so I just read each chapter as its own short story. Finished it the same night I started it.

Before I went to bed I cracked the Campbell Skeleton Key to Finnegans Wake and have learned more about FW in four pages than I did from 150 pages of the source material. I'm thinking it was a good investment.

And now? I need to finish reading my workbook chapter for tonight's Bible study!

I took my paycheck to my local used-book store and bought the following:

Elegance

Butterfly (subtitle: Every Woman's Ultimate Fantasy)

and A Skeleton Key to Finnegans Wake, by Joseph Campbell and Henry Morton Robinson.

Really, people. I think I need help.

Ten-Four, little buddy!!!

I think it's funny that Becky e-mailed me about the honor bestowed upon my town's Main Street, and then chastised herself in a comment here on the blog. Let it be known, Becky, that the way I found out about the Northampton honor was by following a link from a news story — a news story I read at the San Francisco Chronicle online. If not for that site, I wouldn't know about it. Nothing like getting your local news from across the country! So thanks anyway for the heads-up, Mrs. S, and it's always a pleasure to hear from you, even if it's old news. 🙂

For real? Honest and for true? Man, I want some of the crack THEY were smoking. Putting pedestrians first? Yeah, so that you can run 'em over with your Subaru. What-ever.

OK, I don't know if the women of Western MA are upset because of David Letterman's public skewering of Paris Hilton, or because Brit-Brit got her babies taken away, but today has been a day of crabby mean switchboard operators and marketing departments. Seriously, people! I'm offering to put your company/hospital/whatever in a book and y'all could not be nastier. Sigh. Here's hoping it all blows over by tomorrow; I will NOT be able to maintain my cheery exterior if this goes on.

I've worn glasses since fifth grade and just got my nth new pair yesterday. I can't remember if I had new lenses put in my old frames during their reign but if I didn't, then I've had the same pair of glasses since I lived in Redwood City — we're talking 1999, people.

My new pair is totally HOT, makes my face look smaller, and is branded by Dolce and Gabbana. Monstro says they look techno. They make me feel like a blind Carrie Bradshaw — without all that pesky indiscriminate sex.

… and I'm saying that if “Reaper” holds up to be as funny, weird, and creative as the first act was, it's the best show of the new season. And it's GREAT to see that Leland Palmer's still getting work. I've missed him.

So far, it's a pretty good crop of freshman shows. “Journeyman” and “Bionic Woman” (!) are the best of the bunch that I've seen, but “The Big Bang Theory” was much funnier than expected. Of course, its pilot was directed by James Burrows, and heck, he made “Will and Grace” funny, so we'll see how it plays out from there.

Back to the tee-vee!

Here's what I did this week. We still need to put in the bio information for two of the partners, and a physical address for the contact info, but other than that, the site is done, the site is done. I shall be singing that for the rest of the day. Good thing Monstro and Lex are at school!

We didn't go to church today — turns out Lex was up all over the night and I just stayed awake between 2:50 and 5 a.m. Then he woke up for good at 6:45, but Monstro took that shift (thanks, Honey). We have been having a big issue with our church's non-compliance with nursery care (there's no problem with the woman there, just that they need another grown-up: two per room wherever children are present). I think I may have solved the problem during my sinus-earache-abatement scalding-hot shower; please cross thy fingers, I don't want to change churches.

Monstro's been working on his comps so today my mission has been to remove our son from the house so big daddy can get some reading done. He's reading Gibson's Pattern Recognition right now, a book I really enjoyed.

Another thing we've been working on is regular gym attendance. We joined the Y last Saturday and did cardio four consecutive days this week. I'm up to 40 minutes on the elliptical machine. Don't get excited — the machine's set on “fatty” — but I've burned more than 1,200 calories total this week.

I'm working on a Web site for a repeat client right now and if he doesn't start getting back to my there's no way the site will be done and up by Friday. Especially because he wants me to xfer the domain, which in my experience can take anywhere between 2 days and (no lie) six months. So we'll see. I read the mission statement to my friend Katie and she said it gave her goosebumps and made her want to cry, but in a good way. That's pretty good for a first draft, which makes me happy 'cause I wrote it.

(aside: my Powerbook's monitor is so dirty the apostrophes look like more dirt smudges.)

Speaking of writing, Living in Northampton and Amherst 2008-2010 is really taking off — the boy is settled into nursery school three days/week and starting next week, Monstro will take him and drop him off for two of those days until the end of the semester. We get these little half-sheet progress reports about him (Lex, not Monstro) every time and get to coo over his frequency and timing of BMs and what his favorite activity was that day. He's really figuring out how to hold an adult's hand while walking around, which is great — I even took him to Big Lots! today without using a shopping cart.

“I'll set you down but you have to hold Mommy's hand, OK?” I asked him as we looked at the rack of The Wiggles DVDs.

“OK,” he said.

And then he did! OK, I was just there for one thing, but even so, it was a breakthrough. Good stuff.

Earlier this summer my mom was in the hospital for a day in CA and then the next day I saw a woman who I not only swore was my midwife (to the point that I called her “Joanna”), but when she said, “No, Motormouth, it's Barbara,” it took me the better part of a week to realize who Barbara was and how I knew her. I felt really bad about this, but the boy and I ran into her at the recycling center today (see above re: removing the boy) and I was able to heartily apologize and explain the situation. Turns out she never got my note about watering my garden, which was OK because I only planted half a plot of herbs, anyway, and I haven't been there since before we left for vacation in early August. She was kind and understanding about my mental vacuity, so it was a good follow-up.

And then three days ago I found out one of the most darling funny Christian women from my church at Chico, Shannon, is being treated for two spots of bone cancer. The same evening I read that e-mail, I saw a “While You Were Out” episode. Those have been on hiatus for-ever and so I switched over to the last 10 minutes. Mark Montano (who I met at BWI and was himself quite gracious) designed a bicycle garage for a man fighting cancer and at the end of the episode, presented him with a Livestrong Notebook, to help him track his medications, finances, and stay inspired with stories of survivors, too. I ordered one for my friend this weekend and she'll have it in hand by (at the latest) Wednesday. The funny-sad coincidence is, Shannon was the first person I ever saw wearing a Livestrong bracelet, and when I commented on it the first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh, here! I have two,” and she gave me the bracelet off her wrist. Her two boys, independent and unaware of the other's plan, each gave Shannon a bracelet on the same day.

The notebook was free but I threw in a $10 donation to cover the materials; plus, they're running a promotion where if you spend $10 on their site, they'll add 10 free yellow bracelets to your order. So on top of the notebook, her original gift to me will be rewarded par dix.

I'm hoping this cancer situation response will be met more favorably than my last one: No-returned-calls from one of my 2.5 remaining high-school friends for three months. Carlin, could you kick your brother in the *ss for me and tell him to freaking call me already, even if it's to chew me out??? Thanks.