There's nothing more annoying than a writer who's writing. Sorry guys.

Paris Hilton's out of jail!

Doo-dah, doo-dah.

Paris Hilton's out of jail;

only been five days.

Only been five days,

Only been five days.

Ankles confined to her ma-aa-nsion,

Oh, dee doo dah day.

Gossip pundits suggest that Hilton's active herpes lesions caused a health concern to the population. By shipping her home with an ankle bracelet, prison officials went easy on her. Otherwise, Paris could have been known as the woman who skankified JAIL.

Paris Hilton: the Woman who Could, serving steaming-hot-platefuls of home-cooked ickiness, daily!

Parents let their children look up to her why now? I mean, really? I was at Century 21 discount department store in the NYC Financial District and saw toddler girls' clothes with low cuts and busted zippers. Perhaps because the rest of America has wised up and they're trying to get rid of it wholesale.

paris hilton, skank, jail

Projects in the works:

Fourth-going-on-fifth draft of Count of Three. I'm adding a Freudian level to it and it's going to get all dirty. Very exciting

Paris's Jail Journal: Two entries so far, didn't write yesterday because I was working on

Unnamed Movie Script: I'm writing a screenplay for Gerry Jutsun. He knows about it and is intrigued. I sat down yesterday and wrote the first six pages. If I can write 5 pages/day I'll have it done in a month.

Cross your fingers that I get famous, because if I do, I'm bringing you all with me, because it's no fun to party alone. Just ask Paris.

The boy's tear-duct probe and irrigation went fine today — he was in the operating room at 8:01 and we were on our way home by 8:30. He's had milk, water, and most of the pancakes off my plate since then, and now is down for what I expect will be a loooooong nap. Thanks for your prayers — when I met the anesthesiologist, Dr. Christan Munk, I figured all would be well. 🙂

oh, btw, I started Paris's Jail Journal this week and have written two entries so far, yuh-HUH.

I am back from a hilarious weekend in Manhattan, squired by Johnny P. from my undergrad days and Miss Shannon from my MFA program and the only way I would have had a better time is if Monstro had been with us. We stayed at the MIllenium (not a typo) Hilton; Shannon and I were in a comped (!) junior suite that looked directly down into the pit of Ground Zero. Had sixteen-dollar cosmos at Tavern on the Green, ate French food, Spanish food, and saw Spamalot. All fantastic.

But now I'm back and the boy is having a procedure tomorrow to unblock his clogged-since-birth tear duct. Prayers greatly appreciated. Thanks! I probably won't post much the next few days, understandably.

June is nearly here and with it comes summer vacation — I mean, not totally, but during the spring I had six jobs and now I'm down to two, so I'm seriously underemployed, which is great (for now) because I can spend that time building the calluses on my left hand's fingers, and taking the boy to the park, and other personal projects. Haven't read Gravity's Rainbow for like a month but it's the ONLY book I'm reading Thursday through at least Sunday afternoon/evening and possibly into next week as well.

The house is mopped, we've banged out three loads of laundry (oh! oh!) and yeah, even though I've seen tonight's ep like a million times, I'm going to watch my doomed Veronica Mars. Maybe they should do a new title card? Ophelia Mars ?

Tomatillos, Anaheim chiles, gypsy chile, spicy basil, regular basil, creeping and bushy rosemary, Greek oregany, tarragon, Italian spike-leafed parsley, tea tree, and patchouli.

So yeah, I went to my plot at Mytown's Community Garden today for the first time in forever, gave the grassy borders the horticultural equivalent of a bikini wax and rid the whole place of a mess o' weeds. I now feel strong and tan and, yes, I'll admit it, a little sore from all the hoein'.

I've cleared out more than half of my garden plot and planted nearly all the plants I had to plant. Now I am sore, though dirty no more, thanks to the mojito sugar scrub gifted to me from Joy and Tor. Thanks guys!