Finished the menu edits for my client and just completed the editorial exam for American Greetings, for which I was tasked to write a birthday poem that focused on the personal traits of my husband. Here it is (and damned if I didn’t choke up while reading it to Monstro!):

My birthday-husband, whom I love
from toes below to head above.
I love your wit, your charm, your grace,
That playful smile across your face.

My man, who sets himself apart,
With a clear head and loving heart,
Adored by me by any means,
(including how you look in jeans).

You make me thank the stars above
That I’m the one you chose to love.
I’ll treasure you for all my life
And I’m so proud to be your wife.

I have never fancied myself a poet, but when my friend Anne posted the following challenge to her FB wall, I had to play along. It helped that I’d had the amount of sleep referenced in the title… I didn’t even know that I knew the word “enervate.”

Poetry Assignment: Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening by Robert Frost is one of the most beloved American poems. Borrow the exact rhyme scheme (AABA BBCB CCDC DDDD), rhythm and meter (iambic tetrameter), and number of stanzas (4) to write your own poem. Winter may figure in, but that’s optional. Mortality may figure in, but that’s optional.

“Three Hours of Sleep”

I cannot sleep to save my life
My sofa’s –not my husband’s– wife
A sleeping bag, the living room
And not my bed, is causing strife.

Insomnia cruelly entomb’d
My marriage bed in dismal gloom
Anxiety, viola, awake!
As husband snores a wistful bloom.

Employment fears: a gloomy lake
Where I shall not my dreams partake
Nor bury in the winter chill
Spring bulb of hope to enervate.

It’s easier to take a pill
And yet I choose to lie here still
My sleep afar, to pay the bill
for modern time’s grist in the mill.

Team Johnson 2012

Dear Friends,

It was a year of very high highs and very low lows.

We were most proud to purchase our first home. It’s a charming mid-century bungalow: lots of room, a fenced backyard, and a full basement. We are very proud of it and the many improvements we’ve made, including full bathroom renovations upstairs and down, a new roof, interior painting, waterproofing, downspouts, built-in bookcases, and a drainage system that Monstro and Lynn and the boys dug by hand. Lynn even diagnosed why the washing machine died mid-load, ordered the replacement part online, and fixed it herself!

We made many accessibility changes to the main floor of the house in hopes that MFM (Lynn’s mom) could move in with us. Unfortunately, her Parkinson’s and her resultant dementia worsened this summer, to the point that she could no longer remember how to stand up. At the end of July we made the painful decision to move her to a skilled-nursing facility. We are happy to report that she has settled in nicely and is receiving excellent care.

Lynn is thankful for the work she’s gathered from clients old and new since then. She joined the Junior League in autumn. Lynn is continuing to perform stand-up comedy and has earned hearty laughs at many open-mics in the area.

Monstro continues to teach at a local University and while it’s not much of a match for his prodigious professorial talents, it affords him a lot of time at home to write, which is good because he’s got four books mostly finished: his revised dissertation, a treatise on university education, and two novels. He also plays a variation of Dungeons and Dragons online with his high-school buddies once a week. We hope 2013 will bring him a Warhammer 40k gaming group!

We are both very thankful for our children. Lex is 7 and excelling at first grade. His teachers say he’s a joy and we mostly agree. His birthday party at a local roller-rink was the hit of the season. BK is 4 and in pre-K; he has inherited his father’s imagination, his mother’s uncanny ability to find Waldo, and a cuteness all his own. We all enjoy attending a local church and look forward to lighting the congregation’s Advent wreath on Christmas Eve.

We would appreciate your prayers for 2013 and invite you to come visit! Cleveland is a terrific city with great food, amazing tourist attractions, and welcoming hosts.

Love,

Us.

My ideas to end school shootings,  in no particular order because they’re all important:

OK, one day I just posted a link, but other days I posted two entries, so I think it all comes out in the wash (or will, once I’ve fixed my washer’s lid-switch). It’s nice to know that even after 17 years, I can still but serious time into my sweet blog. 🙂 I hope you’ve enjoyed it. I mostly have.

I am feeling amazing that I 1) diagnosed the problem with my dead washing machine, 2) tested and confirmed my diagnosis (I let Monstro be the one to stick the wires in the switch, but I told him where they go, 3) found and confirmed the proper part needed on eBay, and 4) Bought the part with expedited USPS shipping for less than twelve bucks.

Once the part arrives, all that will be left is to install it. Easy-peasy, right? Sure. I can do all things through YouTube that strengthens me.

Me to the boys: “Doesn’t dinner smell good?”

4-year-old BK: “Yeah! It smells like an elephant bouncing on a trampoline made out of Jell-O!”

I just read “Gone Girl.” Well, by “read,” I mean: enjoyed the first 15 pages, suffered through the next 100, and flipped to the end to find out what happened.

What a lousy book. Considering it was so popular that I could only get a copy of it at the library yesterday, I don’t know why people went so nuts for it. None of the characters is interesting or human or worth latching on to. The first 100 pages do very little to set up the ending. It read like an old “Streets of San Francisco,” except without the compelling auto chase or young Michael Douglas’s hair.

Motormouth says: skip it.

At least I get to go to ukulele tonight….

I kept the wrong kid home today. Lex had a cough that sounded bad but not barky, so I gave him a tiny shot of Tussin DM and kept him home. BK went to school. Well, at 11:00, Lex hadn’t coughed for two hours, but we got a phone call saying that BK was tired, hot, and had just thrown up in his classroom. Back from school he came. I set up at TV/DVD in his room to keep him quarantined and he rested for a while while I tried to keep Lex from jumping around downstairs. In the midst of all this, I diagnosed the reason why my washing machine quit working! And, I found what I think is the right part on eBay for $7, including shipping/handling. Much better than paying $45 for it at my local Sears parts store, and a hell of a lot better than paying the $100 deductible to have a home-warranty workman come take care of it. Huah!