The Filthiest Movie Ever

I remember when the “Sin City” trailers hit the Internet. “I don't want this to be one of those movies we say we're going to see and then we don't,” I told darling husband. He nodded and went out for a smoke.

We never saw it in the theater. So today, when we went to the artsy-fartsy video store for two-for-one day and saw it on the new releases rack, I snatched it up like so much fresh popcorn with hot melted butter.

We finally watched it tonight. And really, all I should really need to say is, “I feel guilty for exposing my unborn son to it.” But, being the motormouth I am, I'll go a few paragraphs better.

“Sin City” is the filthiest movie I've ever seen. This includes “Pink Flamingos.” Hell, it even includes “Sex World,” a porno I saw in my early years of babysitting. Right around the scene with the heads mounted on the wall and the cannibalism, I turned to monstro and said, “I can't believe they got away with an R rating.” This is not NC-17, children, but X. Maybe even triple-X. The women are pieces of meat who get all the shittiest lines, usually right before the ultraviolence kicks in. The men are all wanna-be noir, directed by people who don't have the slightest clue as to what noir really is. If this is lifted from Miller's graphic novels (much more graphic than novel), then I feel remorse for the trees who gave their lives. It's not only pointless, but full of holes; a world where all the women, even the 11-year-old virgins, will grow up to become objects, and the craggy, two-brain-cell men will stop at nothing to “protect” them. Everyone dies, or loses a piece of themselves, in the process. Especially the audience.

Oh, and if that's not enough to keep you away from it, consider this: it's shot so poorly, that Jessica Alba looks like Hilary Duff.

Thank God we got it for free. If we'd paid $17 of our hard-earned money to see it in the theater, I'd have asked for my money back after the first 30 minutes.

Save yourselves. Avoid “Sin City.” Read a nice book, instead: like I'm going to, right now, to get the taste of it out of my brain, and hopefully salvage the damage I've just done to our little unborn baby.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *